I have been writing in a personal journal what takes place in my time in Stillness before God since the start of 2010. Shortly thereafter, I felt called to share it publicly on facebook, and then to create the Orbital Buzz website. The journey as been a very emotional one, and one through which I have grown immensely in my faith. I remain to this day in complete awe of all that has taken place, and completely humbled by His use of me. The particular entry I am sharing below is a very special one for me. After reading it, you will understand why the prayer Anima Christi is one of my very favorites. It touches me at the my very core, in my soul.
An excerpt from Journey Through The Stillness: November 13, 2010… Entering in The Stillness Jesus is here. He begins to write on me. Using His finger He writes His name in blood on my forehead, my arms, my legs, my back. In a moment I am awash in His blood. It is running down my limbs onto my hands and feet. I am astounded. I feel so hollow, so empty, and so ashamed for I KNOW He sees everything. He KNOWS everything. He sees and knows the things I want no other human being to know, and yet, He continues to write on me. Then He begins to use a towel and wipe away the blood. I say, “No.” I do not want Him to do this. He responds, “Daughter, I have paid the price for you. In coming to Me you are washed in my BLOOD. In staying with Me and living in my will, you are cleansed, made whole, made perfect in my sight. It is MINE to do.” I so want to be cleansed, to be made whole, that I just sit there and allow Him to wipe. He is ever so gentle. He knows my anguish, my disgrace and wants to wipe it all away. He and I both know He will have to repeat the process many times in my life time, but He knows I will try to make it as few times as possible for His sake. I am learning; I am trying. I desire to live in His will.
Here is the beautiful Anima Christi that I pray after receiving the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.
Soul of Christ, sanctify me; Body of Christ, save me; Blood of Christ, inebriate me; Water from the side of Christ, wash me; Passion of Christ, strengthen me; O good Jesus, hear me; Within your wounds hide me; Separated from you, let me never be; From the evil one protect me; At the hour of my death, call me; And close to you bid me; That with your saints, I may be, praising you forever and ever. Amen.