Journey Through The Stillness- May, 2010
May 1, 2010 – I am sitting before Him and I am thinking about Me. I remember that it is not about me, and I say to Him, “Lord, I know it is not about me. It is about others. I am the blessed one that I am here with You. I do not want accolades; only to know that I am secure in You.” Jesus says, “You must fight for it, Martha. You must empty yourself into Me that I may fill you up with NEW LIFE. Then you must fight the old self and hold it a bay. It is not easy, Martha. My enemy, Satan, would have you. He hates that you are working with Me to bring lost souls home. You may not always see or feel his attacks against us, but you must stay alert and keep your focus ALWAYS on Me. I have placed my Heart of Love within you. Use it for strength. Satan cannot fight love. It is his worst enemy!”
May 2, 2010 – “Love all you come into contact with. Make them feel your joy to just be in their presence. Continue to pray for all. Continue to pray for those you do not know, but see, and feel a need to say a prayer for. You have always done this, Martha. You just didn’t know that I was prompting you to pray; the homeless person on the corner, the disable person you pass by, all those you see each time at Moffitt, and those you see that seem normal, and yet you heart tugs at you to say a prayer for them. Continue, Martha for without your prayer lifting them up to Me for help, they may never find Me. You are writing this so that others will feel my tug at their hearts to do the same. Remember, I want EVERY soul and, Martha, remember, it is I who prepare the way you go.
May 4, 2010 – Today there is silence at first. Then I hear him say, “Kneel. You are too comfortable.” As I kneel, I knock my journal onto the floor. I kneel, and wait. I keep feeling urged to read the prayer written in The Stillness of April 20, so I reach down behind me and retrieve my journal. I realize this was why it fell to the ground as I kneeled! After I finish the prayer, He says, “Remember, Martha, these souls need CONSTANT prayers and offerings.”
May 5, 2010 – Again today I feel I must kneel, but this is right before The Stillness. I immediately kneel and say the prayer of consecration to Our Lady of The Blessed Trinity, which I have been praying, sometimes sitting and sometimes kneeling, before my Crucifix of the Holy Trinity. Then He also reminds me to remain kneeling and pray the Rosary Chaplet of Divine Mercy. When I am finished, as I am getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, I look up at both my figure of The Risen Lord and my picture of the Face of Christ, crowned with thorns. I smile at Him with contentment and joy because I know I have just followed His command and offered it up for all souls, living and dead. Then I open “Love, Peace, and Joy” to read in before The Stillness. Here is what I read: “”One day Our Lord drew St. Mechtilde’s attention to her Sister Gertrude, who apparently accomplished all her acts in His presence, frequently raising her eyes to His sweet face, and finding abundant light and grace in her loving intercourse with Him. Jesus said to St. Mechtilde, “As soon as she knows My wish on one point she fulfills it immediately, and then tries to find out My further desires, that she may satisfy them at once. Thus all her life is spent in loving and pleasing Me with the most perfect friendship.” I also read that this friendship was “truly” the whole life of Gertrude, and in every line of her book the Heart of Jesus seeks only to draw US to that life.” (See Stillness 3/5 & 3/24) And then Jesus said to another one of St. Gertrude’s Sisters, “From childhood I guarded and prepared her for My friendship … till the day when of her own free will she united herself to Me. Then I gave myself entirely to her … And, now, with full delight, I repose in her heart.” (See Stillness 2/6) And finally I read, “He stands at the door of OUR heart and knocks: my child give Me thy heart.” And the angels said to St. Gertrude, “One only soul beloved by God, has more influence over the Divine Heart than thousands of others to obtain the conversion of the living and the deliverance of the dead.” I am in awe once again of His reassurances to Me, and US, that He is truly present and seeking EVERY SOUL. I then try to go into The Stillness and He says, “There is no need today. I have ALREADY spoken.”
May 6, 2010 – I sit a long time and there seems to be nothing. I have asked if He is there and He has said yes, and yet, I am not “aware” of Him. I ask about The Stillness; is it to continue on? He says, “As long as you come to Me, I will be here. But, Martha, you must fight for it, fight to rid yourself of distractions.” I say, “I so want to be with You, My Lord and My God. I want to live in You; be in You.” He brings me towards Him until His Heart within me is fiercely aching with His nearness. Then, we become one, our Hearts are as One. I am in Him and I am whole. I see the demon trying to enter; Jesus raises His Hand and the demon is no more. I am safe within. He has let me see how protected are Souls who WANT Him, who LOVE Him. The Stillness is over.
May 7, 2010 – Again I sit quiet awhile, but stay determined, and repeatedly say, “Lord, I want to be with You. Lord, I love You.” He comes and says, “I am here. I am testing your commitment to be here. Remember, sometimes there is silence; sometimes there are tears; sometimes joy; and sometimes just being. There will not be intensity everyday, and yet, you MUST come. You are hungry for Me. This is good. Come to Me; you will be fed.”
May8, 2010 – Jesus told me to write down these affirmations so, besides myself, others might use them.
The first one is: I am Thine, and Thine I wish to be, Lord. Make my heart like unto Thine. (from Spiritual Communion)
The second one is: Lord, make my heart love as yours today.
Then He said, “Affirmations are to make one pause and think; to pull one from the clutches of temptation; to bring one into the grace of the moment; to help one to be conscious of personal failings; and to help one grow in desire to do good.”
I feel He is telling me to make public a list of affirmations I have taken from my Journey Through The Stillness. Will do!
May 10, 2010 – Jesus says, “Martha, sometimes you come to Me so tightly wound up that it is almost impossible for Me to communicate what I need to. You must release all to Me and relax your mind, body, and most of all your spirit.” He is standing before Me resting His hands on my head. I feel tightness draining from Me. He says, “See there; when you breathe calmly you become calm. Now you can once again feel my heart within. Keep coming to Me. This time together is necessary to rejuvenate your body and your spirit so that you can go forth and begin My work for the day. Now you can go with My Heart in you, and you will be AWARE of it so that you will know what needs to be done.”
May 11, 2010 – Rosary, before The Stillness
Today I am prompted to pray the Rosary while riding my elliptical, yet, before The Stillness, I was planning to ride the elliptical and read in a leisure book after The Stillness. At first, I fought that prompt of the Rosary. (You’d think I’d know better by now!) Giving in and beginning the Rosary, I realize right away that I will be praying the Sorrowful Mysteries (Tues), which go through Our Lord’s Passion. However, I am praying it, once again, with Mary accompanying me. I am reflecting on her pain and sorrow more so than Our Lord’s. We see all that happens, and as a Mom I am heartsick, for both of them. I have many times imagined the weight of The Cross (my sins), but today I am running along the path with her, ahead of the crowd, in order to catch a glimpse. Imagine breaking through into the street and looking for Him. And then, looking straight on, you see Him, but not from the side. He is bent over in half from the weight, and yet, His face is turned upward to God. He is dragging Himself and The Cross longing for, seeking His Father’s comfort, His Father’s approval. When all is done, and the Rosary is finished, I ask Mary, “How did you do it? How did you not scream out in torment and collapse from the pain? Just thinking of my own son in this way causes my breath to quicken and my heart to race!” Mary answers, “Because I TRUST. I trust in My Father’s great love for His Son, and for me. It was Him, who gave me strength.”
The first thing I read after the Rosary was in “Love, Peace, and Joy”, pg 92, in the words of Jesus … “Behold, I come to do Thy Will, O God.” (Heb. 10:9) “I acknowledge Thee for my Creator and Sovereign Master, and my heart submits itself entirely to Thee. Thou hast given me my body, and all that I possess. I come to sacrifice my whole being unto Thee, in the acknowledgment of my entire dependence.” And then, as to how a soul might imitate such complete surrender … “Can the Eucharistic soul do better than appropriate to herself these sentiments of the Heart of Jesus when He enters the sanctuary, in order to recognize with Him and by Him the sovereign domain of God, to submit to it with her whole heart and abandon herself to it without reserve? “ Mary said all of this in one word, “TRUST”. This is hard to blindly do when you know in your heart that this pertains to someone you love; as I do. And yet, I will submit my will, Lord. Let it be according to your will.
May 11, 2010 – In The Stillness all is quiet. He is there and I am there. Then He prompts me to kneel before Him and to pray, “I offer myself to You, Lord. Let me be a hope for lost souls.” Then He says, “Remember the affirmations. Work on that today.”
May 12, 2010 – Today throughout my prayer time I am feeling extremely close to The Sacred Heart of Jesus and experiencing His anger, His frustration at the loss of souls. I consecrate myself anew to Him and the goal of reaching out to those souls; My heart is heavy and aching. In The Stillness, seated on the edge of the bed, I feel I am gently guided, but with heavy pressure, to bend completely in half, over my folded arms and hands. The pressure becomes a heavy weight and increases until I feel my heart is being crushed within. I realize that I am under the weight of my sins; of The Cross. I am not sure I want to stay like this, but I actually cannot lift myself. I raise my head as far as I can to look up. I am remembering the image from yesterday of Christ carrying the Cross and looking upward. I find in this fully bent position, and with the heavy pressure, that I can barely lift my head, let alone look up to heaven. I offer the heaviness and pain in my heart up to Our Lord on behalf of all souls. He is pleased. This continues on for several minutes and then there is a loud noise from a piece of electronic equipment in the room; a sort of pop! At once my body jolts upright and The Stillness is over.
May 13, 2010 – I offer myself to Him and ask that today I can totally be the person He wants me to be in all my thoughts, words, and deeds. I thank Him for choosing Me in this way. I am just here. I do not feel Him physically present today, but He is here; as He has been.
Today, once again, I am prompted to make a change in my routine. I normally pray The Divine Mercy Chaplet, kneeling before my Trinity Crucifix, and prior to The Stillness. Now I know I am to change to praying it kneeling with arms extended. I am to feel as Jesus on the Cross, even though it can never compare, and to let God see this reminding Him that these souls are lifted up to Him through the Passion of His dearly beloved Son.
May 15, 2010 – “You pleased Me very much yesterday when you prayed with arms extended. By linking your prayer offerings with My Passion a great many more souls are aided. You must continue to do this. Remember, those souls cannot come to Me except through My Sacred Heart, and by an offering of one such as yourself on their behalf. You will never know all the souls that are helped by your efforts, but I will know. You have come voluntarily and it pleases Me so.”
Lord, in praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet, kneeling with arms extended, I began to know even more how you suffered on the Cross. It is unfathomable to me, who felt uncomfortable after only a few moments, how you must have suffered as you hung, nailed to the Cross hour upon hour. Forgive me, Lord. Do with me what you will. I am your servant willingly.
May 17, 2010 – Prior to The Stillness I kneel and pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet with arms fully extended again. Before I am through my arms, shoulders and neck are intensely aching to where I feel myself almost rushing the prayers to be done. At the end, I lower my arms and bow my head, thoroughly humbled, asking His forgiveness and offering up my small sufferings through His Passion for all the souls He has entrusted to me for reparation, renewal, and enlightening. After this I read in my Daily Word Devotional today’s entry: “…When I place my focus on a circumstance or thought, it expands. When I notice a PAIN or IRRITATION and give it my attention, my aggravation increases. Likewise, when I hold a thought of the many ways I am BLESSED, my sense of appreciation builds … If I wish to change, I can make a deliberate choice to switch my focus to that which UPLIFTS my spirit and BLESSES OTHERS. A simple shift in the direction of my thoughts changes my day, and my life, for the better.”
Then in Love, Peace & Joy, pg 129, I read: “… and by the sacrifices which HIS GRACE MAY INSPIRE US TO ADD, we shall accomplish what is wanting on our part to the Passion of Our Savior for His body, the Church, and this fulfill our part in the great work of reparation…”
May 17, 2010 – In The Stillness – I am asking Jesus to keep my heart aching always for love of Him and to serve as a reminder of those souls I am to constantly lift up in prayer to Him. I am looking down, I see His sandaled feet. I see the scarred wounds in them. He takes my hands and presses the palms of His against them. He gently stands me up. Face to face, now, He stretches out our arms as if on the cross. Leaving my arms outstretched, He places His hands on my head and tells me to kneel. With His hands still on my head, He says, “Do this in memory of Me. Pray The Divine Mercy Chaplet, kneeling with arms outstretched in memory of My Passion. In linking your prayer and discomfort to My Passion we will help even more souls. Do this, whenever possible, in front of My Blessed Sacrament. Do this for love of Me; for love of souls; for love of My Sacred Heart within you.”
Oh my, did He not tell me in The Stillness on April 27th that “the time will come when WE will move on; do bigger things together”? I know, once again, I will be pushed outside of my comfort zone. I, who worried what people would think of me outwardly making The Sign of The Cross while praying the Rosary driving in the car, am now going to have to go and pray The Divine Mercy Chaplet in front of the Holy Tabernacle at Holy Spirit with my arms outstretched! I can refuse Him nothing. (Thank you, Lord, that the Tabernacle is off to the side in an alcove, and FORGIVE me that it matters!)
I added the paragraph below when I posted the May 18th entry on Facebook:
My children are a precious blessing in my life. More than once, over the course of my life, I have offered them up to our Savior, to do with them as He will, even if that meant I must give them up. For long stretches of time I have been able to put the memory of these offerings aside, but at times I become nervous and anxious over the idea of what that really meant, and when am I going to have to face the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t know how Our Father in heaven was able to bear it … He could not, except for the tremendous love He felt for us. O, that my love could conquer all. And now for today’s stillness…nd anxious over the idea of what that really meant, and when am I going to have to face the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t know how Our Father in Heaven was able to bear it … He could not, except for the tremendous love he felt for us. Oh, that my love could conquer all. And now for today’s Stillness…nd anxious over the idea of what that really meant, and when am I going to have to face the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t know how Our Father in Heaven was able to bear it … He could not, except for the tremendous love he felt for us. Oh, that my love could conquer all. And now for today’s Stillness…nd anxious over the idea of what that really meant, and when am I going to have to face the ultimate sacrifice. I don’t know how Our Father in Heaven was able to bear it … He could not, except for the tremendous love he felt for us. Oh, that my love could conquer all. And now for today’s Stillness…
May 18, 2010 – As I am entering into The Stillness I am seeing images of my son, Craig, as an infant and child, almost like his life is unfolding before me. I fight these images, thinking they are of my mind and not my heart, not supposed to be part of The Stillness. Then I hear, “You love him; He is your son just as Jesus is mine.” I say, “Mary?” She says, “Yes, I am here. Whenever it is about a Mother’s Love, I am here.” I am wondering what she means by “just as Jesus is mine”, and I begin to become anxious knowing that, many years ago, and again recently, I have offered my children up to God. Then I hear Jesus say, “Martha, don’t fight the images, enjoy them.” I am seeing my beautiful little boy grow into an adult through middle and high school, and then college. My heart is sad for the struggles I watched him go through, but rejoices at the wonderful young man he has become. I have always said my children make my heart smile, make my heart sing. Jesus says, “I know and have seen his struggles, Martha, and Mary has interceded on his behalf. Do not worry, he will struggle no more. I will lay his path out before him. You must trust Me. Leave him with Me, for you have prayed that I hold each of your children close to Me always. Well then, you must let go; let Me have him. Watch and enjoy, but don’t forget to continue to honor and include Mary daily in your prayers and offerings. It is through her that you gain many blessings for them. It is through her intercessions on their behalf that I am able to grant them, and you, many graces that you and they might not even realize, but yet, keeps all close to Me and on the right path. I have him, Martha. I have each of your children. Be at peace about them, and go and share your peace and love with all those around you, that they might see my hand at work in your life, that they might LOOK for Me in theirs.”
May 19, 2010 – Today Jesus stands before me, his hands on my head. We are like this for sometime when I realizes my thoughts are creeping in as distractions. I say, “In your name and through your Sacred Heart within me, Jesus, I cast out the Devil now, and banish him from my thoughts.” Jesus says, “Yes, Martha, fight for it! Satan cannot come in as long as you are with Me. My hands are on you; how dare he even try!” I say, “Jesus, I WANT to be with YOU. I want to feel my heart aching within and to be on fire for love of You.” Then He says, “I can see when you are tired, Martha. Just rest in Me here. Be infused with the energy you need to continue on our journey.” And so, my heart is aching, my mind is quiet, and my body is still. I am with Him, just WITH Him. He knows my every need and fills me with Himself.
Prayer: My Lord, and My God, infuse me with the Life of your Son, the Love of His Mother, Mary, and the Peace of your Holy Spirit flowing within, that I might be used by each for the fight against your most powerful enemy, Satan, in order that he be cast down and made to release those souls that You, in your infinite Mercy and Love, desire to bring home to The Father, that they might gain the grace of your salvation and live in union with you in eternal life, ever offering in praise that Glory and Honor that cannot be denied You, for thou art The Way, The Truth, and The Life. Amen.
May 19, part 2 – AFTER writing in The Stillness Journal today, I wanted to catch up on some documenting by making the notations in the margins. When finished, I was replacing my reference note page in the book “Journal of A Soul”, by Pope John XXIII. I had read in it earlier and stopped at the top of page 130, at the end of the first paragraph. Now, as I was closing the book, the word devil caught my eye on page 131. I stopped and read these words of Pope John, “I will always remember St.Frances de’Sales advice: ‘Let the devil (the other reasoning mind, that of the other self) bang and scream at the door of your heart, offering you a thousand images and untimely thoughts. As he cannot enter except through the door of consent, keep this firmly closed and put your mind at rest. Do not get anxious when the waves batter against your boat; have no fear while God is with you.” God-incidence!
May 20, 2010 – Considering yesterday’s Stillness and May 6th, I am not surprised that today’s reading in “God Calling” is this: “You will conquer. The conquering spirit is never crushed. Keep a brave and trusting heart. Face all your difficulties in the spirit of Conquest. Rise to greater heights than you have known before. Remember where I am is Victory. Forces of evil, within and without you, flee at My Presence. Win ME and ALL is won. ALL.”
God-incidence? You bet!
In The Stillness Jesus comes and He is smiling. He says, “Martha, I am pleased. Your work for Me is good. Lets have some fun.” The next thing I see is us seated with my pets all around us. Shadow and Chessie, my two cats are laying, one of each side of Jesus. My two beagles are off to my side behind me, staring at Him a little uncertainly. He says, “Scout” in a very calm, love-filled voice. Immediately, Scout goes to Him and is rewarded with caresses. Sierra is actually frightened, but He turns to look at her and softly says her name. She runs straight into His lap and He throws His head back in laughter. And then there are the two turtles, Spike and Panzer, pushing through the grass to get right next to Him. I am amazed, because my beagles and my kitties do not get along, and usually, the kitties would love to get those turtles! Jesus sees that I am relaxed and happy. He says, “You have been working very hard in your mind, and in your heart, Martha. You need to relax and let go. Put it out there for all, and let it go where it will. I will take it from there. You cannot control who is reached by the messages. I need you to put it there in a way that others can see it and understand it, but then you can relax about it. Just let come in and flow back out. Continue to pray for all. It pleases me very much.”
May 21, 2010 – After reading before The Stillness in several books and realizing that I needed to reference and notate in so many places, I enter into The Stillness with my mind racing. Jesus says, “Do not be frightened, my child. I know it is no longer proof you seek, but knowledge. You have sought out books of others before you who have known Me in this special way; others to whom I have given my Heart. Take solace in the fact that they too were not perfect in the beginning. They questioned and fought too. Continue to research and document similarities, Martha. While YOU no longer need proof, others in the future will demand it. While you can FEEL My Sacred Heart within, others will be BLIND and need to have their eyes OPENED. I want you to do all that you can in order to prepare the way for them. MY TRUTH will be brought into the LIGHT, and you will be my messenger. Be prepared, Martha, for you will have to SPEAK for ME.
Prayer: Most Holy Lord and God, I am made humble before Thee. Send your Spirit upon me that I may speak your words and lead all souls to You. Guardian Angel, serve to protect this lowly servant from the evils that would prevail. Jesus, Mary and Joseph, make me worthy, as you each are, to fulfill the will of God. And Jesus, grant that my Heart be like unto Thine; that through me your love and mercy may reign over all the earth, nations and souls, forever. Amen.
May 22, 2010 – I am visiting at my daughter’s and Jesus says to me, “This is good, Martha, that you should come to Me anywhere. You, especially you, only have to look and you see Me. Train your mind, Martha, to come to Me at any time, any place, even if just for a moment. Come even in the midst of confusion, among people, or while doing daily tasks. In doing so, you gain much, not only for yourself, but in linking up to Me you gain much for many souls, especially those dear to you. Remember, I am ALWAYS here. I am ready and most desirous to commune with you, my daughter.
May 24, 2010 – Today I am extremely tired and just sit in His presence. This will be enough … that He knows I have come.
May 25, 2010 – Today Jesus is before me, wearing The Crown of Thorns. As I sit there I notice a drop of blood has fallen on my knee, and then a tear drops onto the other knee. I ask, “Why are you crying, Lord?” He says, “Because I am truly saddened by those souls who do not come to Me. I can share this with you because I see that you are truly saddened by it also.” At this point certain souls come to mind and I ask Him to make my heart ache more if He is troubled by them. As I contemplate each one I find the ache increasing, intensifying. There is one that the ache lessens completely and He says, “Not that one; it is okay, as I have told you.” I ask, “And the others?” He says, “Yes, Martha, you must help Me for those. I desire EVERY soul. I want ALL souls to KNOW Me. For, once they know Me, they WILL love Me. And then, WE will REJOICE!
May 26, 2010 – Jesus squats down in front of me and looks up into my face. He smiles up at me. I can’t help but feel inner joy and smile back. After a minute of just smiling at each other, He reaches for my hand and says, “Let’s take a walk.” We walk along that same beautiful stream and then a calm lake. Stopping along the lakeside, and looking across, I see rays of light radiating through the clouds, through the trees, and down to the ground and lake. Jesus says, “It is beautiful; is it not?” I answer Him, “Yes, Lord, it is most beautiful.” Then He says, “That is The Spirit, and what the inner beauty of a soul who truly loves Me looks like. You do truly love Me, don’t you, Martha?” I say, “Yes, Lord, I do.” And He says, “And, you trust my will for you?” Again I answer, “Yes, Lord, I do.” Then He says, “You must examine yourself on this every so often to be sure it is still true, and then recommit yourself to Me, to my will for your life and your loved ones.” The Stillness ends. The entire time my heart has been fiercely aching and I feel a catch in my throat. I know that I freely give myself over to My Lord to do with me as He will, and while I also give each of my loved ones, it is with some anxiety. He knows this; thus He desires re-commitment.
May 27, 2010 – It is our Risen Lord before me today. Light is radiating out of Him in every direction and completely encompasses me. This IS The Stillness today. We are just like this enwrapped in The Glory of God. It isn’t until I begin to write this down that I realize it is a “continuation” of yesterday when He showed me the Rays of Light of The Holy Spirit. Today, Jesus and I are ONE with The Spirit. It is AROUND US, THROUGH US, and IN US. It is where a soul who loves Him abides. I see this, and I know this, and yet today, I feel a sort of detachment from it; almost as if I am just watching rather than participating. I realize this is how it is for a lukewarm soul – one who knows, even loves, but doesn’t fully engage; just goes through the motions. There is so much MORE for the soul on fire for The Lord. O, Lord, grant that my fire is never extinguished; that I never become a lukewarm soul. Let your Spirit ever flow through me that I may be a joyful worker in the harvesting of souls.
May 28, 2010 – My reading today in Daily Word is a reaffirmation of the past two days in The Stillness: “As I open my heart and mind to my inner Christ Light, it shines forth, illuminating the way to my highest good. I allow my creative energy to flow, becoming enthusiastic about new opportunities ahead. I say yes to prospects for good, giving thanks to God, FOR I AM A WINDOW THROUGH WHICH THE CHRIST LIGHT SHINES.” Again I am awed and humbled by the proofs and God-incidences which continue to unfold along my journey.
In The Stillness today all is reaffirmed yet again. I am with Jesus. As He begins to put His arms around me they become the wings of The Holy Spirit. I am enwrapped in Jesus and The Holy Spirit. It is a feeling like no other … of softness, contentment, comfort, solace, peace. Nothing is needed because nothing is lacking. I hear Jesus call out, “Abba, Father, I have enfolded this child in Our Spirit. In her springs Eternal Joy. Even when saddened she has inner joy. She loves all of your creation. Even a mere glimpse of one of your creatures causes her heart to smile. Father, she is yours, and mine. When she comes to Me I enfold her in The Spirit and teach her to speak and write My Words. She has been faithful and obedient in this. Because her capacity and desire to love all is so great, I have given her My Heart, and there in I abide. She asks nothing for herself, only for her beloved souls. She seeks to serve us and desires to bring others to us. She is learning and practicing humility. She has trained herself to be Still in My Presence and listen for my instructions. She is faithful in desire and effort to obey every command I set before her. There is a struggle within her between vanity and self doubt, but she hears and accepts my admonishment on these points. Father, I bring her before You so that You will see how I love her and how she has worked to become One with Me. Together we are seeking out and bringing back what belongs to You. Father, grant her victory in the reparation of many souls and especially fulfill her desires for those she loves most. Give wholly to her your Spirit that she may be infused with love and wisdom to conquer Satan’s charms and evil doings. I will be her shield.”
The Stillness is over, but I don’t want it to be.
May 29, 2010 – Jesus is hovering over me and waving His arms wildly about, almost like directing traffic. Then I realize this Is what He is doing. Demons are whizzing by and then wildly spinning off as if catapulted into space. Jesus is guarding; protecting me. He says, “You always told your children to leave room for the Angels, Martha. So must you. See how fast and hard the evil one sends his spirits to attack? Without your angels there to fight for you, all would be lost. Give them room to work on your behalf by hesitating instinctively before you act. Listen to and heed your inner voice, your spirit within. Then remember to thank your angels, especially for the protections you were not even aware of. Offer homage and praise on their behalf to Our Father, and then enlist their aid in our battle for souls.”
May 30, 2010 – I stand before Him and He says to just lay my head on His shoulder. I do, and meld into Him. The feeling is so all encompassing. A heaviness is lifted and I am at peace. There is no place I would rather be. Jesus says, “You have been working hard to learn all that I am teaching you, to be who I need you to be, and to share it with others. I need you to rest so that you can rejuvenate and keep up the good work. Go, enjoy your day, enjoy your family. I will be there with you.
May 31, 2010 – As I am in The Stillness, Jesus tilts my face up to look directly into His. He is smiling down at me, when all at once, His face becomes that of my son, Craig. Craig says to me, “Mom, I am fine”, and he is smiling that smile I love so dearly. Then, it is Jesus again, and He says, “Martha, I told you I have him. You must let go; let Me have him. Do as I say; all will be well.”
I am continually being asked/told to give those that I love over to Him. I think I do, but then He repeats the request. I am being tested, or I must relive my sacrifice or offering over and over again to make it that much more pleasing in His sight.
Prayer: Oh, Lord, take all that I have and all that I am for your greater glory. From the depth of my soul, and from the love of your Sacred Heart within me, I know you have the good of my loved ones and myself, the good of the whole world, in your Heart. Use me and my loved ones as thou wilt.