February, 2010

Journey Through The Stillness – February, 2010

Feb 1, 2010 – Jesus smiled at me … not a SENT smile … HE smiled, then said, “Go forth and shine!”

 Feb 2, 2010 – “You are vain, and yet scared.  I told you yesterday to go forth and shine!  Go!”  My head is throbbing today from the thyroid treatment.  He says to rest in Him, but then to go forth … with the written account of all that is happening in The Stillness.

 Feb 3, 2010 – The Stillness is all The Trinity today.  Even in my daily prayer journal the writing flowed quickly and without prior thought.  I am to carry His message to others about The Holy Trinity and His most sacred symbol, The Sign of The Cross.  As He told me before, He is greatly offended at the careless way in which we perform the holy sign.  In order that the Holy Trinity may be better called to mind and be more reflected upon as tree in one.  He has commanded that it be said in this way:  In the name of God, the Father (touch forehead to breastbone/heart); God, the Son (touch left shoulder); and God, the Holy Spirit (touch right shoulder).  This is to be done slowly and very pronounced with reflection and feeling.

          In The Stillness He gives me reflection, almost like and overlay, translucent.  There is the face of Jesus, heavily robed, overlaid with the face of Jesus, crowned with thorns and bleeding, overlaid with the Holy Spirit Dove, radiating shortened rays of gold and silver light.  This is still developing as I begin to see more clearly.  Each overlaid over the cross in position, with the Eucharist in the center.  I saw and drew a similar rough rendition in an earlier Stillness (Jan 9).  Is the Cross Thorn like?  Make it clear to me, Lord, so I can make it known.

 Feb 4, 2010 – The Stillness is hard to come by this morning, as I am sitting in the car in a parking garage.  I have ridden with Turner to Orlando, and brought my prayer books along for while I am waiting.  It is noisy from cars and I sit in The Stillness a long time.  God is with me, but silent.  Then He says to say the Divine Mercy Chaplet. (I did)

 Feb 5, 2020 – There is noise outside from a weed eater.  I find it invasive so I tell the Devil to be gone and take the noise with him … it stops at the moment!  Then I hear Jesus say, “You are too busy.  Yes, you are!  I see you flitting about from place to place.  You are sharing joy with others, but do they know it is MY joy?  Speak of me more.  Share how I have blessed you.  Share my smiles” … then the weed eater noise starts back up.  Jesus smiles, so do I, then I write this down. (I am still smiling!)

 Feb 6, 2010 – Jesus covers my head with His hands and brings my ear to His Sacred Heart.  I do not hear, but am made aware of a great sorrow, sadness, and throbbing heartache.  He lifts my face to look at Him.  I see the head of Jesus crowned with thorns.  He closes His eyes and tilts His head up.  His cheeks become sunken, hollow, and gaunt.  His mouth drops open.  Tears seep through the eye lids and blood streams from the thorn punctures.  He is showing me that He feels our pain and sorrow personally.  When we cry out to God it is manifested in Jesus, in His Passion and Crucifixion.  While I did not see, I am being led to write that it is the same for our joy and laughter.  It too is felt by Jesus, in His Resurrection and Ascension.  He wants us to know that our communication with Him is on a very personal level, much more so than we could ever imagine.

 Feb 7, 2010 – “You must calm your inside.  You must trust that I am here.  As I have said, I am always here within you.  It is when you seek me in The Stillness that I become present in your mind.  Here we can communicate with each other in a simple way.  Because you view me with child-like simplicity, I can converse with you in simple conversation.  You are worried that this is so matter of fact, without a lot of deep, emotional, inner struggle and reflection, that it cannot be real, that I cannot have chosen you.  You love me so simply with a heartfelt joy, and that is precisely why I have chosen you to work with me.  So, trust and go forward, keep coming and writing.  It won’t be too much longer.  I will let you know when it is time to tell others.

 Feb 8, 2010 –  Today, Jesus cradled me in His arms.  The warmth, the solace encompassed me.  There was a feeling of complete surrender, complete relief.  It felt so good.  There were no messages.  He wanted me to just be with Him out of love for Him, not to receive or ask for anything.  So we just sat feeling love for one another.

 Feb 9, 2010 – In The Stillness, Jesus holds me again.  He has me sit sideways on His lap and rest my head on His shoulder.  He ever so gently rocks back and forth.  I see things that I have no idea what or why.  One is a little blue eyed, blonde headed boy of about 5 or 6 years of age.  The other is myself having my throat blessed, and again, myself attending the Lenten Mission at Holy Spirit.  I keep seeing Fr. Bluett.  There is no talking, just infusion.  It feels like a weight is gone and I am relaxed in Him.  I don’t want to go, but He says, “You must go out into the world.  Just know that I am with you.  Remember?  I am always with you, for I am IN you, and you are IN me.”

 Feb 10, 2010 – Today He says, “Martha, Martha” I know He means I have to calm myself better and shut out everything but Him.  It seems that He slips His hands into mine.  He says I am getting better at being in The Stillness, that it is simply good to be still and know that He is God.

 Feb 11, 2010 – Today HE RESTED His head ON MY SHOULDER, and we just remained so.  Then He said, “Thank you, my child.  Now go, and take Me with you.”

 Feb 12, 2010 – No message.  Him sitting, me kneeling and resting my head and folded arms on His lap.  At first, Jesus is talking, laughing, and joking with others, whom I cannot see.  He is gently stroking and patting my head.  Then there are many images going through my mind.  I cannot remember most, yet alone, explain them.  I know I see people, and certain people’s names come to mind. (no one that I have a present connection with)  Images are choppy of various (unknown) people doing things.  I receive or take part in some procedure or ceremony.  It is all fleeting and I now cannot put rhyme or reason to any of it.

 Feb 13, 2010 – Immediately the tears flow.  I am thinking how unworthy I am.  I am thinking that Jesus died on the cross for me in such agony, and I am such a sinner, so unworthy.  How can this all be real and I just sit and take it all so matter of fact, and write as if it is just a fiction story!  Jesus says, “Hush, Hush, Hush!  You are matter of fact because you must be.  I need you to be in order to receive my messages.  You must be clear headed and not crying and emotional.  I need you to see and hear.”   The tears stay very wet; yet, I suddenly am calm and can see clearly.  I begin to see images of the Cross and Holy Trinity that I know I am going to be sketching.  He shows me another way to perform the Sign of The Cross.  I will not show it here, as I am not certain if it is going to be performed that way or if He is just making clearer the relationship between the three persons, as He wants it to be represented.  I again see images of the three, and possible directions of rays of light.  I also know now that the Eucharist must be the center image, tying all of it together.  Dear Lord, give me the vision and the talent to do this, as I know I must.

 Feb 14, 2010 – Jesus sits down beside me and puts His arm around me.  I feel the tears about to start.  He says, “No tears, remember, I need you clear headed.”  We just sit and I can hear Turner downstairs in the kitchen.  I think I must go and help.  Jesus says, “Which do you choose?”  I say I choose to stay.  He says, “That is the right choice.” (And I know because my namesake [Martha] in the Bible learned this lesson the hard way.)  “You need this time with me.”  We sit.  I say, “I love Turner, Lord.  Thank you for him.”  He says, “I know you do, he is the right man for you; always has been.”  Then we sit, and Jesus is softly smiling.  As always, it is over in an abrupt instant.

 Feb 15, 2010 – I kept seeing this image.  It is of Jesus, floating, standing, heavily robed.  His feet are pointed downward.  The chalice and host above it are centered in front of Him.  At first His arms are bent and holding the Chalice and Host.  Then He stretches out His arms in a downward angle.  (Here I need to add that on 2/23 I was given this Bible verse in connection with this image. ”Come unto Me all ye who labor and I will give you rest.”

 Feb 16, 2010 – Jesus sits knee to knee with me and encases my hands with His.  A moment later I am prostrate at the foot of the Crucifixion.  Mary, The Mother of God, is standing beside me looking up at her Son.  She says to me, “You are a mother of sons.  You can sense my pain.”  I almost jolt out of The Stillness.  I say, “Not you too, Mary.  You are not talking to me.  I am not sure I can do this.”  Then I see her ascending up to the sky.  She is saying, “I just want you (all) to remember my pain.”  A tear is sliding down her cheek. (right)  The Stillness is abruptly over.

 Feb 17, 2010 – Jesus moves to one side (left) of me with His hand resting on my shoulder.  Mary appears on my right and rests her hand on my shoulder.  We are just together for a time, and then Mary says, “Go through Lent with me.”  She looks to Jesus, as a mother looks at a son, and they both say, “Go through Lent with the two of us.”

I know that I am to focus on the Passion of our Lord, but I am to remember, and to feel, a mother’s (Mary’s) pain.  Help me, Lord, Jesus, and Mary too, that I may honor you both through prayer and sacrifice, ever conscience of your sufferings on (my) behalf. (and all mankind’s)

 Feb 17, part 2 – While praying my Rosary, and meditating on the Glorious Mysteries, very poignant images of Mary came to mind.  I saw Mary holding the beautiful baby, Jesus.  She was lovingly cradling Him in her arms when He became a Crucifix and Mary’s look turned very solemn.  She was cradling the Crucifix, the Crucified Christ!  Then, He was an infant again, but He was holding a crucifix nail in His left hand, wearing a crown of thorns bracelet on His right wrist, and in His right hand, holding a smaller version of the beaded whip used to scourge Him.  Mary had a tear on her cheek and a tear drop was splashing down onto Jesus’ heart.

Dear Lord, please help me to know how and when to share these (no words to describe) images.  Do I write them for others to reflect upon, do I create them in art, or both?  Grant me the wisdom, confidence, and talent to fulfill your trust in me, oh God.

 Feb 18, 2010 – Jesus is seated in Heaven surrounded by angels.  He is smiling, telling stories, and laughing.  Martha [from the Bible] is seated at His feet, resting her head on His knee.  Jesus says to me, “Take the joy from this time together with you.  Let it radiate out to ALL you come in contact with, but, especially FEEL it in your own heart.”

 Feb 18, part 2 –– Today a Facebook friend posted this quote from Mother Teresa, “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.”

 Feb 19, 2010 – Today, I was reminded that He is in control, even in my silence.  In Sr. Faustina’s Diary, she noted an incident of Jesus calming a storm outside her window because the noise bothered her so much she could not pray.  See my journal entry of Feb 5.  I have notated both my journal and her diary pages with the date of occurrence because, once again, my incident occurred well before my reading about hers.

 Feb 20, 2010 – Jesus has to hush me several times.  He finally says, “Be still.  Just BE with Me.  Just BE with Me.  This is enough for now.  Let your guard down.  Let your soul rest in me.”  After a few minutes I ask Him what He wants me to do.  He says, “This IS what I want you to do.  I want you to find comfort in just being with Me.”

 Feb 21, 2010 – How great your love that You would deign to talk to me, a speck, a soul amongst infinite souls, a speck of dust, a speck of nothingness.  How great my vanity that I would presume it.  I fear, Lord, that I am one of the lukewarm souls You speak of, or at a minimum, hot and cold, off and on.  I so want to be a soul on fire with your love every moment.  I want to be a soft place for you to land.  Do not drop me, Lord, for now I do not know how to pray without listening, and would be lost completely if I could no longer feel your embrace.  I know my unworthiness and I long to be that soul where your joy can shine forth to all.  Help me, Oh Lord, to learn your ways, that I might reflect your glory every moment.  Create in me that clean heart and kindle in me the fire of your love so I can carry out your every wish, for alone, I know I will fail.

 Feb 23, 2010 – I have been attending the morning and evening Lenten Mission at Holy Spirit.  I have spent time afterwards in His presence before, The Divine Mercy Image.  Today, I received the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  Yesterday, when I began my preparation for the Sacrament, I shared with Jesus concern about a matter which bothered me.  Today, through the words of the Missionary my concern was answered, and I felt completely capable of making a sincere and honest confession.

     This afternoon, in The Stillness, Jesus was there, seated outdoors with children laughing and playing all around.  When He saw me, He threw His arms wide open and smiled broadly.  I ran into His arms, where He enfolded me and said, “It is good to see you, Martha, so joyful and (once again) free-spirited.

 Feb 24, 2010 – Afternoon Stillness due to theMission.  I Received the Sacramental blessing of the sick.  Fr. Bluett blessed me.  Is he the one you want me to seek out, Lord?

 Feb 25, 2010 – In The Stillness, the Lord says, “Share your joy.  Make others WANT what you have.”  I feel that I am to post some of Sr. Faustina’s thoughts from the Divine Mercy Diary on my Facebook wall.  I ask Him what am I to do with these journal writings.  Fr. Bluett is heavy in my thoughts.  I ask for a sign so that I can know without a doubt if I am to show Him (or someone) these writings.  Again, I am feeling guided to somehow use Facebook: possibly a separate page, where I can share the main points or thoughts from these communications.  I feel this, but again, I would like clarification beforehand.  I am worried about turning people away (thinking I am a kook) rather than bringing them to Him.  Guide me, Oh Lord, in what is mine to do.  I am your willing servant.

     A note:  While I did not share any particulars, I told the mission priest that something was happening in my daily prayer routine.  He told me that if God was leading me to act in some way, that I must let my heart remain open, and to go forward, unafraid.  He seemed to intimate that by stepping out, even if I make a mistake, God will guide me to what He is truly asking of me… Here I am, Lord. 

     During my Rosary, I felt He prompted me to form a Facebook Group.  I did so that very afternoon: Entitled, “Journey Through The Stillness”.

 Feb 26, 2010 – In The Stillness, Jesus is seated, holding a lamb, with a black nose and paws, on His lap.  As I approach, I become very gentle, softly cooing about how cute and precious the lamb is.  Jesus smiles and says, “See how you are and how you feel just now?  That is how I feel whenever someone approaches Me for the sake of being with Me.  Not for guidance, healing, or answering prayers, but approaches just to be one with Me.”  Then He adds, “And, Martha, know that you are carrying out my wishes with the Facebook page.”  He smiles.  The Stillness is over.

 Feb 26, part 2 – This morning, during my daily Rosary, along with the Mystery, I continued to focus on Mary’s pain as she bid me.  I envisioned each of my sons experiencing personally the Agony of Jesus’ Passion.  I saw first and last, Jesus, but witnessed also my own sons, and therefore, was able to feel at least a fraction of the torment Mary must have felt.  It is truly unimaginable.

     Jesus also let me know that I am to include Turner in the posting of my Facebook page by emailing it to him.

 Feb 28, 2010 – My Facebook group, begun of Feb 25th, is entitled “Journey Through The Stillness”.  The first one to sign on to follow along was my son, Keith, and, the first day, 19 people joined.  Through this date there are 27.  All Glory and Honor are Yours, Lord.


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