The following is from Journey Through The Stillness, my personal spiritual journal:
Apr 6, 2010 – Today as I go into The Stillness I am thinking about how I continue to repeat my sins over and over again. Even though I am truly sorry, I must not be sorry enough. Jesus says to me, “When you hear the inner voice, just stop. If that voice is not enough then see Me on the Cross, and if that is STILL not enough to stop you, then remember that the pain of the Crucifixion was not my greatest pain … it was the weight of your sins when I had to carry the cross. That is what caused, and causes Me to this day, the most suffering. You KNOW Me and continue to sin. How can I expect those who don’t know Me to come to Me, when those who do know Me cannot. Pray for increased strength, Martha, and I will help you. You are mine, and I am yours.”
If you are like me you repeat your sins, the same sins over and over again. We are weak against temptation. Is it any wonder that Jesus questions how we can lead others to Him when we cannot even control ourselves? We are imperfect and yet He longs to use us warts and all. Sometimes it is our very imperfections that might attract someone to us, and ultimately to Him through us. That is no excuse, though, to continue on in sin. To lead the way to Him, we must set self aside. We are each called to holiness, and must strive to be so. We must learn from our sinful mistakes and work at correcting those characteristics in ourselves that cause us to sin. Jesus asks us to pray for increased strength to overcome our sinfulness, and tells us He is ever available to help. There is something truly comforting in knowing we are His and He is ours.