Colosseum, Rome, Italy, 2011
In two previous Stillness entries I wrote about a CD that touched my core personally. Today I would like to share some of what touched me so intensely. I wrote about how I have learned to listen better when God is trying to reach out to me, and to pay closer attention to what I think He wants me to do. Through the CD He spoke loud and clear. Actually, in truth, I do know that I am doing what He wants because I have felt His leading and guidance along the way. It seems though, over time I had become the child that comes along complaining the whole way to the something that turns out to be a good thing, a blessing in my life. I had stopped running out to greet that blessing, instead, pulling backwards on God’s Hand because the way to that blessing looked too difficult, scary, or too demanding. I am re-learning the value of bringing along or being that child who trusts and gladly skips alongside. As I said in the previous Stillness, I now know I will be able to conquer that tendency to fight, to pull backwards, or go my own way. I know, because I now know where I am called to be holy, what I am to conquer in me to achieve holiness, and how I plan to do so… with Christ IN me.
Part of what I learned is that I must ask myself this question, “What is the one thing in my life I would change, the one thing I would walk away from, that I really do not want to do?” Bingo! That is exactly where I am called to be holy, to overcome self, to offer it as a sacrifice to God and get on with it. I knew immediately. As the CD continued on, I kept looking (hoping) for something else to present itself, but it didn’t. I knew. The one thing I have been so discontented with, the one thing that I have tried to hide from, or pretend it just isn’t there because I don’t want to do it, that one thing is it. It is not a habit or a sin I have been trying to overcome, but instead, a service I have been reluctant to take up. He knows this and has called me out. He leads and I am to follow, not reluctantly but willingly, and with joy in my heart at the opportunity to serve Him. Easier said than done.
Besides finding out where we are called to be holy, the CD also talks about where there is something in life that we want to fix or change, such as solving a family member’s life issue, or a failed attempt at leading someone to Jesus, we must accept that it is bigger than us. We must continue to pray, we must keep Christ at the center of it by always calling Him into focus whenever we feel overwhelmed by thoughts of failure or by anxiety over the situation. We must focus on Him until the uneasiness subsides and we are left knowing His peace, knowing that He is in charge and hears our prayer. One aid to help us to do so is to repeat a simple, one-line prayer over and over focusing on Jesus until our thoughts calm, such as, “Sacred Heart of Jesus, I place my trust in you.” A situation may be bigger than you, but nothing is bigger than Jesus.
Do you know where you are called to be holy? Ask yourself the question above and really listen to Jesus in your heart. Please do not think that I consider myself to be holy. I do consider myself called to be holy, as we all are, and blessed to have heard His call. I am also not saying the journey to holiness will be easy, but it will be doable with Him. In fact, the journey to holiness will more than likely be long and arduous, but the attained goal will be its own reward. The path to holiness is a personal journey that each soul must make. I pray that God will bless you on yours.
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