“Then He began to be filled with fear and distress. He said to them, “My heart is filled with sorrow to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake.” Mark 14:34
Jesus knew. He knew exactly every single, horrendous, torturous pain that would befall Him. And still, He willingly chose to go through with His Father’s plan. He deliberately chose to deliver Himself up for torture and death on my behalf, on your behalf, on behalf of us all. Unfathomable, yet true.
Have you ever really fully contemplated the first Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary, The Agony In The Garden? We often view artwork of this scene, or picture it in our mind: Jesus fervently praying while kneeling at a big rock, sweat rolling down His face; His disciples off in the distance sleeping. These images move us to a certain level of empathy and sadness, maybe even guilt, but these feelings are probably the extent of most or our thoughts concerning it. We might even fervently pray, “Lord, don’t let me be like the disciples and fall asleep on my watch.”
If we are willing to dig a bit deeper into our emotions, we might be able to really put ourselves in the mind and heart of Jesus. Imagine the feverish pitch of His anxiety. It is the night before the Crucifixion and He knows what is coming. His anxiety was so great that He experienced hematidrosis, a phenomenon where sweat pours out as blood. It is a very rare phenomenon that can occur while suffering extreme emotional stress such as watching your spouse and children be killed, or facing one’s own imminent death.
The very thought of sweating blood, or of such extreme anxiety, is enough to make most of us cringe in fear, and yet, it happened to Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. He allowed it, He embraced it on our behalf. His desire to save us and bring us into Eternal Life with Him and His Father was greater than any anxiety, any pain and suffering that would befall Him. His Love for us was greater than any sin we would ever commit, any separation from Him, or any rejection of Him.
It is good for us to pause a little longer than usual in order to fully contemplate His great Love for us and all that He went through on our behalf so that we might share in Eternal Life with Him. It is good to pause and thank Him for our salvation.
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