“This, then, is how you ought to regard us: as servants of Christ and as those entrusted with the mysteries God has revealed. Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful.” 1 Corinthians 4:1-2
Have you ever been embarrassed by something you do, and yet, you are determined to continue doing it? Most of us would quit doing the embarrassing thing so as not to be embarrassed again!
Sharing our faith can sometimes put us in situations we find embarrassing, or at least uncomfortable. I found myself in such a situation. I wasn’t exactly sharing my faith, but rather demonstrating it.
I often listen to inspirational CDs while driving in my car around town running errands, to doctors appointments in Tampa, or to and from the office. One that I listen to regularly is The Holy Rosary. I pray out loud along with it every day.
I know I look odd, as if I am talking to myself. However, these days with all the new technologies, I probably just look like I am talking on my cell phone hands free. Besides, I don’t really mind if people think I am just a little odd!
The embarrassment I experienced was when it came time to make the Sign of The Cross. I especially found it to be embarrassing when I was sitting behind or beside someone at a traffic light. The embarrassment didn’t stem from showing my faith, but rather from the worry of what others would think. I just didn’t want them to think I was some kind of kook! Odd, yes; kook, no!
My feelings about it haunted me to the point of feeling guilty toward Jesus. I found myself making the Sign of The Cross, but timing it so that my car wasn’t exactly beside another one, or doing it as we were taking off so eyes would be on the road ahead instead of the rear view mirror! The more I did this the more I felt guilty. I began to see myself as Peter, denying he even knew Jesus. So, I began to pray about it and ask Jesus to help me, to ask Jesus show me how to overcome this embarrassment.
Here is the answer I got! “At that moment picture Me hanging on the Cross. Feel you fleeting, yet real, embarrassment and offer it up to Me, through My Most Sacred Heart within you. Off it for the souls who do not seek Me , and yet, I am all around them.” (Journey Through The Stillness, April 8, 2010)
He never ceases to amaze me with His understanding and loving mercy. I now turn my own personal embarrassment into a sacrificial offering on behalf of others. Instead of the guilt driving me away from Jesus, I now look forward to enduring this small public discomfort. I now use it as a tool to witness for Him. Maybe seeing me praying in public will stir a longing in the soul of someone nearby. As Jesus said, “I am all around them.”
I think, during this season of Lent, this season of sacrifice and reflection of one’s relationship with Jesus, that I will look for even more ways to express my faith openly. You just might want to look in your rear view mirror!
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