“Do not say: How is it that former times were better than these? For it is not in wisdom that you ask about this.” Ecclesiastes 7:10
I always hate hearing grown ups say to young teenagers, when talking to them about high school or college, “Enjoy these times. They are the best times of your life!” It actually makes me cringe.
Imagine at 18 or 20 years of age that the best days of your life are already lived. What does that say about the next 60 to 70 years?! What is there to look forward to?
I also cringe whenever I hear young mothers carelessly say in front of their young children, “I can’t wait until they start back to school!” What does that say to the child?! They surely think Mom is tired of me, that she likes it better when I am at school.
In my simple optimistic view of life, I believe even amongst troubles that life as a whole just keeps getting better and better. For me there is nothing better than having my husband and children around me at all times. I have enjoyed all the different stages of my life and my children’s lives.
When they were in high school and college, I told each of them to enjoy their time, but to also look forward with anticipation to the future and all that God held in trust for them. I told them life was a gift that God gave us; a gift to be appreciated, enjoyed, and lived to the fullest; a gift to be cherished and protected.
Children learn from our example how to react to the events in their own lives. If we spend all of our time looking backwards, living in ‘what ifs’, and blaming our present trials on the past, then they will learn to do the same. They will always look backwards with remorse, or with a longing for the ‘good old days.’ Either way they will not be focused on the blessings of the present or the hope of the future. Living in the past is not a path to success in the future.
If our children feel they are a burden to us, or that we would rather be somewhere else than with them, then they will see themselves as unlovable, or at the very least, a burden. They will see themselves as something we need a break from. Whenever another Mom said to me she couldn’t wait for school to start back, I would reply loud enough for my kids to hear, “Not me! I love having my kids home with me!” Which kid would you rather be?
Our children need to see us making the present time the best time in our life! Sure, we can share good times from the past with them, but at the same time, making them think we love all the different times of our lives. I loved my kids in every stage of their lives. I wouldn’t want to go back though, because I love who they are right now too!
My view of life may be simple and optimistic, but I am also a realist. Like everyone, I have real responsibilities and problems. At times, some are more serious than others. I choose how I react to them. I have to find ways to deal with difficult times and difficult problems, but I remain happy in my core beliefs. I believe in my God, my Father, my Creator. I believe He’s got my back! Because I believe this, I am able to navigate through all the different times of my life, and look forward with hope and joy to the next. I live in His seasons for my life.
It may be difficult for some to understand, but the best way I know to explain is to say that I choose happiness even in sadness. I focus on the blessings in my life, no matter what else is going on. I focus on God.
“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
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